Elana Kirsh

Tag: books

  • My 2-Year-Old is Teaching Me to Read

    My 2-Year-Old is Teaching Me to Read

    Every step along the way of this lovely journey of motherhood, GG has been my little guide. Teaching me to push past the hang ups I’ve spent three decades accumulating and find my best self. This week’s course: reading aloud in my second language, Hebrew.

    Two years ago when he was born, my Hebrew was already decent. I could hold a conversation on basically anything, translate formal documents and watch full-length movies with ease. But reading aloud was always a struggle. There’s something about the process that just irks me – always has, since my first days of learning Hebrew as a kid. I hate feeling stupid – I guess everyone does – but sounding stupid is just so much worse. Even in university I would do everything possible to get out of reading aloud.

    No such luck with a kid – especially one that loves books as much as this one. I tried for a while – “no, Mama doesn’t read in Hebrew,” “how about a book from the left-hand side of the shelf,” “ooo let’s read One Woolly Wombat!” … but he’s too smart for that crap. He knows what he wants and he wants it now. He’d give me this crushing are-you-kidding-me-I-heard-you-speaking-Hebrew-a-mile-a-minute-like-an-hour-ago-pick-up-the-book-woman look and eventually I realized, the game is up – time to get over this insecurity.

    So the last few months I’ve just been going for it. Taking it slow when I need to, laughing at myself (usually I have company on that one – thanks boys!), and putting my ego aside enough to ask my husband to translate words I don’t know. At first I would only agree to read Hebrew books that I’d heard read a few times before, but lately even that is changing. I bought GG a new book the other day (it’s about a 3-year-old tractor who makes a funny noise when he “walks” – super cute) – and have read it to him dozens of times now without any help. And he loves it.

    The knowledge that in GG’s eyes I am almost certainly not a stupid immigrant with a weird Australian accent has been the perfect catalyst to further develop my Hebrew – and hopefully save him some embarrassment down the line when his view of my perfection inevitably changes shape. Until then, I’m thankful for my little guru and these unexpected pockets of learning, these situations that shine a light on the things about myself that I can actually change – just by putting my ego aside and being with my kid.

    Laughing with me or laughing at me?

     

  • Mindfulness and The Very Hungry Caterpillar

    Mindfulness and The Very Hungry Caterpillar

    Our 18-month old has finally got the message that the boob restaurant is closed overnight (yay!), but now he has a new demand – “BOOK”! Yep, he wakes up at midnight, 2am, 4am, whatever and calls out “BOOOOOK” (along with “mum,” “dad,” and “water,” just to mix it up). And of course, he’ll scream bloody murder if his demands are not met. So fine, if he needs to hear a story to fall back to sleep, it’s not the worst thing in the world. And I’ve read all of his books enough times to know them off by heart so no need to turn on the light…. or have I? To my surprise, I recently found out that I don’t know his books off by heart. What’s going on?

    I decided the issue needed some mindful exploration. So the next time we were reading, I brought my full attention to the activity. And what do you know – for the first few words, I was there, fully, reading with him… and then I was off. My eyes and my mouth kept reading but my mind? Outta there.

    And so my reading meditation was born. Now, whenever I read to him, I pay keen attention to the moment when my mind starts to wander, and I bring it right back to the task at hand. To that sweet, fleeting moment when he’s snuggled up in my lap, totally absorbed in the story – even if it’s the seventh time he’s heard it today. To his anticipation of each word, his exploration of the pictures, his delight at repeating a new phrase. I take care to really read each word, with my eyes and my mind, to speak those rhyming verses with my entire being. To anchor myself to the present, just me, the book, and my little guru.

    Last night, just when I thought he was asleep, he sat bolt upright and yelled “BOOK!” And what do you know – I can now recite “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” from start to finish, without blinking an eye. Or touching the book.

  • What Not to Expect: A Guide to Staying Calm & Enjoying Pregnancy

    Despite what I was led to expect – by peers, family members and mainstream media alike – I haven’t found pregnancy to be that difficult at all. Certainly, I do get a bit more tired and emotional than I used to, felt queasy as hell in the first few weeks and have had the odd bout of heartburn (more likely caused by the obligatory iron tablets than anything else) – but it’s been nothing like the nine months of hell that popular literature and opinion had led me to anticipate.

    In fact, most of the time I feel great – both physically and emotionally – unless it’s 9am. Because that’s when my daily email from “What to Expect” arrives, carrying its latest attempt to simultaneously scare the shit out of me and make me buy truckloads of baby things that I’m pretty sure we don’t need. For starters, let’s check out the subject lines on the last week’s emails:

    • Dry Skin
    • Fetal Sleep Patterns
    • Insomnia
    • Ultrasound Photos
    • Relieving Neck Pain
    • Feeding a Cold and Flu
    • Coping with Varicose Veins

    Seriously? How is it that pregnant women are simultaneously perceived as being glowing and radiant, all the while suffering from peeling skin, popping veins, colds and sore necks? What am I meant to be growing in here, an evil monster or a baby? How about:

    • Learning to relax
    • Focusing on how freaking excited you’re getting
    • Breastfeeding basics
    • Stretches to prepare you for labor
    • Iron-rich recipes
    • Learning perineum massage
    • Positive birthing affirmations

    I know everyone’s different but somehow we as a society seem to have accepted a myth that pregnancy has to be one of the most unpleasant periods in a woman’s life – when really it should be one of the most precious and empowering. And I think it’s a damned shame. Even women – actually, especially women – dealing with uncomfortable symptoms like back pain and headaches would be far better served by some encouragement and tips on how to relax than by this anxiety-invoking junk.

    Rather than learning how to be good patients, and to constantly focus on the negative, we should be gearing up to be good parents – I mean come on! I’m growing a human being inside of me! How freaking cool is that?! I strongly encourage pregnant women, their partners, and anyone else involved in the process to surround themselves with as many positive voices and sources of information as possible (see below for a list of places to start), to help combat this dangerous influx of negative messages.

    If this sort of attitude doesn’t come naturally to you – seek out support. It’s there, albeit hidden. Take a birthing class which focuses on natural, non-medical options (yes, while making sure that you know what to do if something goes wrong). Refuse to get into battle story-esque conversations about horrible, stressful births. And it sounds crazy, but I really believe that eating well, resting when you can/need to and getting some exercise in a few times a week can make all the difference to a positive outlook and more enjoyable pregnancy.

    Oh, and if they’re getting you down too, probably a good idea to unsubscribe from What To Expect’s daily horror updates.

    Of course, I’m not in the clear yet, with still (hopefully) somewhere between 4 and 8 weeks until our baby’s Birth Day. But if this all goes down the drain next week at least I will have had eight-and-a-half months of relative calm. And that’s without even mentioning the head space I intend to be in when the much anticipated day arrives. More on that soon 🙂


    A positive reading list: Books & blogs